On October 6, 2025, my dearly beloved crossed over on her newest adventure. She will live on in my heart and soul forever. I wonder if heaven is ready for her.
“We need a witness to our lives. There are 8 billion people on the planet … I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything — the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things … all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’”
– Quote from Shall We Dance? (2004), Screenplay by, Audrey Wells.
I was so fortunate to be the witness to this most incredible being.
An encounter and the learning…
One evening (late), after Ellen had transitioned, I was walking out of the office, when I looked at the photo of her that I had placed on the desk. I said, “Honey, I don’t know where you are, but I love you.” In my head, I heard “I am in your heart.” I laughed and said “Of course you are. Of course you are.” I had a warming in my chest and my breathing increased. I felt her energy… in my heart. And I thought of the energy that was my dear Ellen and “where did that energy go?” It was then that I knew that she was energetically “in my heart.” And that her energy was timeless and everywhere. She is in the hearts (not heads) of all those that she knew and loved and that loved her. You can feel her.
I then remembered what I had heard of as “Two deaths.” The first death is when the physical body ceases to function. The second is when the last person who knew and can speak the individual’s name dies.
So what I am choosing to believe is that Ellen’s energy is being carried by all those who knew and loved her. Ellen’s second death will be when each of those is finally laid to rest. Until then, she lives in us. And, she can communicate with us… as long as we “listen.”
A gifting…
In 2011, on her birthday, Ellen gave me a present. It was a pledge, on a folded three sided piece of paper with one paragraph on each side. As I read it today, I thought it so beautiful and inspiring that I would share it here. This was it…
In every interaction, Ven,
I will surrender to love—our true nature. Being connected to my source and my relationship with you will always be more important than any issue.
I promise to trust you enough to tell you the truth and treat you lovingly, gently and with respect, in my thoughts, words and actions, whether in your presence or not.
If anything unlike love comes up, I will hold us in my heart as we each learn to speak experience and be Response-Able for our realities. I will be there for and with you, keep communication open, and keep love conscious active and present as we heal.
— Ellen Dec. 11,11
Old slideshows (created with love)
Here are a few slideshows I put together for her on special occasions through the years. I love, love watching these!…
Note: If you have been here before and these did not play on your Mac, iPhone, or iPad, that problem has been rectified. Enjoy.
And a few still photos of us…
And of Ellen…
More to come as I dig into my archives of our life together.